rain, rainbows or sunshine

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Hello**
Another week went by...
Daddy Daryl, Aaron & Daryl went back for camp...
So this week is a little more different...
Went for work, den home...
Pretty boring...
Dun really lyk working...
Wads more its month end...
So alot more work to do...
Pretty sians...

I haven't received news from the other side...
I'm starting to get vexed..
Cuz its extremely irritating...
Wth..
Swells...
Lyk mummy say...
This is life...

Oh wells..
Shaina's birthday is coming...
Which means the start of a new month...
Yet another month is going by...
Looking back, i start to wonder what have i achieve in a mont...
Honestly, nothing...
really nothing...
Except the fact that i earned my own pocket money..

Anyways,
Recently on the news is about this little girl, or rather this baby who lost her entire family in a car wreck...
She became an orphan overnight...
It really hit me badly..
Its lyk she's only 2 months old...
She's got a happy family, a set of parents that can provide her with her needs...
But she lost them all...
Lyk wad i told mummy, if i'm working & have a steady income & married, i would definately take her in & bring her up...

Its times lyk this i realise that human life is damn vulnerable...
& its all abt fate & how it brings us...
Haiz...
Its just brings abt lots of emotions & thoughts lah...

Brian & i had a pretty nice chat last night,
hmmm... after 2 weeks???
i learnt a little more...
Realised a little more...
But i'm glad for the chat...
Thanks darling...

I'm jut glad,
Even though we were close to 2 quarrels last night,
the 2 quarrels didn't happen...
=)

**Life is vulnerable**
**How fate plays a fool on pple**
**Everything boils down to fate**
**Its where it brings us**

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Hello**
A week of joy, sadness & fun i experiences.
Interestingly enough, i experience these emotions in a week.
Good Friday just went by...
First time in 4 years did i not go to church.
I did not go for Easter Vilgil too.
I was too tired.
Was too vexed at times.
I haven't stepped into church since Christmas.
I dunnoe wad i'm doing oso.
I kindda regret not going to church this morning.
But oh wells.
Lyk mummy say, i'm not a baptised catholic, so it doesn't matter.

Ms Ivy gave me a lovely rosary bracelet for Easter.
Its really lovely.
It made me feel absolutely special, as though i've a real catholice godmother.
I was thinking if i'm really going to get baptised, i would love to have Ms Ivy as my Godmother.
She's such a special lady.
I'm glad to have met her.
The only thing i feel bad abt is not getting anything for her.
I had the intention of getting her a card, but i did not managed to find 1.

Good Friday this yr,
I went to Sentosa with 2 Daryl's, Aaron & my lovely Mathilda.
Had lots of fun.
Catching up with Mat!
Go tanning with Mat for lyk the 1st time in 4 yrs.
Hahah..
Spent time with the 3 NS guys who wld be going back to camp tmr.
They are much fun too.
=)
I'm glad it was really a day to chill.
After tanning, they came over to my hse for dinner.
Mummy made Chicken rice...
=)
The gift that i got from that Good Friday was being burnt by the sun.
Its a terror man.
OMG!

last night,
I had lots of reflection running through my head.
Nikki, our grp dynamics, the care we have for our friends, my friends.
I was struck by how my life will be w/o friends.
Mayb there's a few things in life tt i cannot not have.
1) Family
2) Friends
3) Dance

My family, cuz i am no1 w/o them
Friends cause, where will i be w/o their care, their love & their support in wadever i do
Whenever i'm sad, whenever i need a shoulder to cry on, to share my joy.
Dance. Taught me to see the world in a much clearer light.
All these 3 things are my life.

w/o all these i wouldn't be where i am today.

Mayb tt's 1 of the main reasons why,
I dun wanna see my friends in distressed,
When they are nt ard me, i miss them so so much,
Whenever i hear tt they need help & i cannot help, i feel useless & helpless
Most imptly, if i've experience things tt i predict may happen to them, i try my best to save them from the hurt & the scars.
I dun wanna see any of my friends sad.
That's wad i'm doing.

Thanks guys for being with me for so long.
Daryl, Mathilda, Brian, Lenny, Taz, Faiz, Nikki, Desmond, Krismaine, Charlotte, Rachael.

**I cannot forget the past**
**I have to learn to accept the present & the future**
**But how has the past affected me**
**I'm still trying to find out**

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

This entry is especially dedicated to my one, & only HO SEOK HOON, MATHILDA!!!!!!

Girlfriend, sister, classmate, fellow schoolmate
We go way back in secondary school..
The memories you bring me are priceless...

A sporty girl is she.
The only camp instructor of the class
Monitress of the class.
She's lyk my challenge in every class..
She's my motivator & a friend in class.
She's always there for me in times of trouble.
She never fails to put a smile on my face & lift my spirits when i'm down.
She's famous amongst the juniors in school.
& was a joy to everyone in class.
She was the pillar of the group.

Graduation came & left.
The final time we spent together as classmates at Shangri-la Sentosa were the best.
Despite being seperated after sec 4,
She never fails to listen to me whenever i'm in trouble.
Wadever the time.
She's a little busy bee ever since Secondary school.
Her goals & her achievements are highly admirable..

Despite the ups & downs in school my dear...
You were always there for me comforting me, helping me, teaching me what i do not know.
All these years,
The love that you shared with me, is something that others cannot give.
Thanks for coming & supporting me through my toughest time after the O levels.
There's so much thank yous i want to say to you.
Though the time we spent chatting & meeting up is a million times lesser den Secondary school.
But everytime we chat, there's this sense of familiarity present.
I'm very glad that our friendship did not get distant & is still strong.

I will never forget the times we shared during our mission.
When we had to sit in a circle & think abt the ending of the chapters of Secondary school.
The little little tears that we shared..
The sobbing that we shared.
The little little notes that you wrote to me.
These were my best gift i have ever received.
Together with the rest of the girls in SJC.
The bond that we formed is much more special.
I'll glad for the bond.

I'm really grateful for the affinity that we share.
You're the best thing that happened to me too.
Thank you so much..

I love you my dear... <3

To my darling clique in Sec 4 Dilligence of SJC:
-Wei Li, Krismaine, Rachael, Regina, Charlotte, Beatrice, Li Ting & my very darling Mathilda-
Thanks to all of you that my final 2 years in Secondary school was the most fruitful & eventful one.
Without you guys,
Sec 4 D wldn't be Sec 4 D
Clarissa now wldn't be who she is now.
You guys brought joy & tears to my life.
Though we're all seperated into different schools,
the memories that we shared will always remain.
The friendship never changes.
Thanks you guys.
=)

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Hello**
Tazzy joined me at work...
& he took my job with Ms Ivy...
Umph...
I now doing mummy's work...
The only good thing is that with this job, i've got more chance to do OT...
Hahha...
Can earn more money...
Hahha...

26th February,
Was just a day of reflection & thoughts...
The day event is still very clear in my mind...
Can't forget it though...
who will know & understand...

5th March,
Our 1st year...
Didn't really do much...
It was really simple...
We just spent time together & had a nice simple chat...
It felt so nice...
But i was sick that day lah...
So it wasn't that fantastic...
Cldn't go out...
Time fly by really quickly...
All the quarrels, the misunderstandings, the expectations & all,
lyk tt oso 1 yr went by...

I tld mummy that Brian & I just walked by our 1st year together...
Mummy didn't say anything...
Today however,
She asked me if i reall wanted Brian as a partner, den,
she told me abt her concerns, her worries as a mother..
She told me what does she want me to have...
Which mother wants their child to follow her footstep...
She doesn't want me to suffer..
I can understand..
She said some nice stuff, & some not very nice stuff...
But i know deep down, she meant well...
Lyk she say,
"Which parent wouldn't want the best for their child"
its true...
I understand...
It was so close...
Even me, i want the best for my child...
Provice My child with whatever i can give, until he or she is old enough to provide for herself...
but lyk she say,
my marriage is mine to find,
but she has her own worries too...
She say she didn't really have the best,
She wants me to have them...
Haiz...

I dunnoe how my future will be like...
I really dunnoe...
But i know i want him with me...
I want to walk the rest of life with him...
Oh wells...

**I know what mummy wants**
**I understand how she feels**
**I say good things for you**
**But i dunnoe how eventually it will be like**